A Look Inside the War Room

1:00 PM Great Phil Simms is calling the game. He's always a damn jinx.

1:07 PM Christ already a Brady to Moss td. Good they hit him and going to the locker room. How we did not get flagged? This should be considered a miracle by the Vatican.

1:10 PM Flipped over to NFL Game Mix Channel. From here on out we'll call it GMC. Watching 8 games at once. Funny seeing who doesn't make the cut to be on that channel. There are ten 1 PM games today. Today nobody gives a shit about Bucs/Panthers and Jags/Texans.

1:15 PM Another stellar offensive outing by the Phins.

1:20 God Phil Simms loves giving Brady fellatio! I mean he gets in his mouth and all the way down to his balls.

1:26 PM Flipped over to GMC. Christina Aguilara is doing Direct TV commercials now. Dancing With The Stars has to be around the corner.

1:29 PM Why do these assholes (Patriots) always have their best game when they play Phins at home?

1:30 PM Listening to Falcons/Eagles broadcast on GMC. Goose and Moose talking about turf toe. The flow of the conversation almost sounds like one of them is going to talk abot a case of explosive diahrea they had after eating at the Varsity.

1:32 PM Yay! Another Patriots touchdown! Doesn't that oooze with sarcasm?

1:37 PM Holy shit this is going to be a long day. Jim Nantz and Simms already going to their filler notes on Larry King calling Dolphins games.

1:41 PM Gotta love Bess(receiver for the Dolphins)! Can we please get this man a receiver's number? Something in the 80's. 15 is Earl Morral (fuck showing my age). I mean he looks like a guy that is still wearing his pre season number.

1:45 PM Mozeltoff! A touchdown. Earl Morral err um Devon Bess I meant!

2:14 PM My Speak and Spell pc crapped out. Had to get the paddles. CLEAR!

2:20 Love him or hate him you have to admire Belicheck's I don't give a fuck what combinations of shirts/hoodie I am wearing look.

2:24 Sims going to the fill banter on sounds of the ball being kicked.

2:26 Checking in on one of the elite 8 games on GMC. DET @ CIN. I have to be one of 12 people in America watching the Bengals kick a field goal against the Lions. This was the best out of the three headed shitty monster of games. DET/CIN, HOU/JAX and TB/CAR. With STL/CHI a close 4th. I think the qb's in that game are Pat Hayden vs. Vince Evans.

2:32 PM Flipped over to the Ronn Mexico Bowl(Eagles/Falcons). Or as our Spanish speaking friends say El Tazón de Ronn Mexico.

2:39 PM Back to aggravation. Looks like I took too big of a sip of the Titans Kool Aid. I had a hunch if IND loses it's 1st game it would of been to somebody in division. Not looking like it's this week.

2:42 PM Holy Shit! A HOU/JAX highlight.

2:46 PM Ouch! Hopefully the toast like smell of the Phins DB's will be less next season.

2:50 PM Hey a PI call Miami's way. Is it a sign. Should I attend church or buy lottery tickets?

2:58 PM WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!!??? Vick scores in his own bowl game.

3:13 PM There might be some car door slamming in the streets of Miami tonight.

3:15 PM What the fuck is happening to the Steelers?

3:19 PM Man another blessing bestowed on Miami. Offensive PI on Patriots. I am feeling lucky. Hmmmm church, lottery ticket or asking for a blowy?

3:35 PM Ronn Mexico says VD (Vontae Davis you sickos rookie db on the Dolphins. I have no idea what you think I was implying. ;)) is not such a bad thing! Nice interception off of Brady to Moss!

3:40 PM Too nervous to write anything. I am afraid the keyboard has some talismans powers. If I touch it all the bad mojo will come out and jinx the Phins. Rocking back and forth like a mental patient. And no I do not discriminate against the insane. I have quite a few relatives with time shares in mental health facilities!

3:55 PM Jesus! I swear this game is aging me. Can we just end this shit please?

4:05 PM Glad for the lead but Brady and time are against us. As Winston Wolf said in Pulp Fiction "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet!"

4:10 Wow Channing Crowder broke his cherry! 1st Interception. I thought it was Morlon Greewood picking that off (Don't worry if you don't know who he is. He was the last guy to wear that number and make an interception with it. Talking like 03 Dolphins) I love it! The Patriots are all fucking pouting. Take your ball and mish mash of Boston/New England Patriots hoodies back up north and stick it in the snow you fucking premadonnas!

4:15 PM Thank Christ that is over! XANAX me ASAP!